written in 1993 by Mary KERR Krentz
Bits and pieces of my life. This is what I am supposed to write for our genealogy book. But where to begin. So many special times to record... happy times, sad times, learning times, and times I neglected to learn. It would take another lifetime to recall it all. I am amazed at all there is to write as little things jog my memory and great snatches of time come tumbling out.I have always been a very private person, holding inside my deepest feelings lest they be misunderstood--or worse, ridiculed. There are so many moments, so many thoughts that I have never shared. I am not sure that I can share them now.
How can one tell the story of a lifetime if only the good things are told. Yet, how can one tell the bad things--the sad times--the unworthy thoughts--the negatives that round out a life and make it real.
I remember a "Peanuts" cartoon where Charlie Brown was having a really bad day, and Linus said to him, "Life is never all one way, Charlie Brown. You win some, you lose some." Charlie brightened up considerably and said, "Really? Gee, that would be neat."
So perhaps it is mostly the good things that I am meant to record. The happy times, the humorous times, the special times that, for me, cancel out the bad and the sad, so that when I have finished writing I can read my story and say to myself, "You had a good life."
And I did.
I don't remember the day I was born. I'm told it was October 22, 1922, and Mama was pleased that I resembled my father.
Only one small problem--I became ill. Mama was scared. She'd already lost one baby, and that was one too many in her mind. So she prayed really hard that I would live, promising to name me Mary if I did. That was no small promise because they had already decided to name me Roslyn--first three letters of my father's name, and the last three letters of her name. I lived and was christened Mary Roslyn Kerr. Funny how Mama always thought when you asked God for something you had to promise him something in return. I don't believe God needs gifts in exchange for answering prayers. I believe He says Yes or No according to what's best for each of us. I believe sometimes our prayers are granted because we have something to learn from that situation, and sometimes He says No because there are better things ahead for us.
As you can tell, I believe in God. He is a very real part of my life and He has always been there for me through good times and bad, someone I could count on when things got rough. In a lifetime there are bound to be rough moments, but I have also come to realize that it is the heavy times, the hard decisions, the mistakes and the correction of those mistakes that help us grow.
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Regular readers of Before My Time may recall reading some of my mother's memories in past posts. Today, in celebration of what would have been her 86th birthday, I bring you the beginning of her story as she wrote it. To read other posts in this series, click on the "lifestories by mary kerr" label at the end of this post.


4 comments:
Today would have been my mother's 72 birthday.Happy Birthday to our mom's!
Msteri
Hi, Msteri, thanks for stopping by!
The second and third paragraphs really sum up why I often have trouble writing.
It's wonderful you have these memories, in her own words. I don't believe my mother will ever record her memories and thoughts herself.
Same here, Apple. It's sad, really, because all her life she wanted to write, she enjoyed writing, but what would have been her best work was stuck behind that wall. I remember one day she called to read me a poem she'd been working on. She'd surmounted the wall, and it was by far the best poem she'd ever written. I wish I had a copy of that one!
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